22. Crown Lager

Cost 2
Smoothness 4
Piss-Factor 4
Aftertaste 2
Coolness 1

We’d been staying in our hotel for almost a week and we hadn’t had a single drink in the hotel bar. After another day of seemingly endless administration and tedium we made a point of correcting this.

Australians still run good old fashioned happy hours and this bar ran it from 5pm to 7pm. It was great to find out that all beers on tap were $3 per schooner and that Crown beer was the “beer of the week” and would be $3 per bottle for the rest of our stay. That alone gave it a piss-factor of 4 but it was the most uncool of beers as it didn’t even merit placement in a fridge. Instead they were left lying in a big plastic box of ice and water at one end of the bar with all the labels floating in a sticky mess on the surface.